£34.99. That was the figure on the broadband account page when I opened the budget spreadsheet at 8.40am on Wednesday 1 April, in the box room with a cup of tea going cold, and it was a number I'd known about for fifteen months.
When we ordered full fibre on 17 January 2025, the order confirmation said the price would rise by £3.00 each April, in pounds and pence rather than as a percentage tied to inflation. Ofcom's rule for contracts agreed from that date is that the rise has to be written down as an amount at the point of sale, and ours was. So there was no letter and no surprise. The first rise in our contract is April 2026, which is why last April's budget stayed at £31.99. My own slip was that I'd noted the rise in a cell comment in 2025 and never in the forecast, so the sheet I built last year still said £31.99 all the way to the end of the contract. A payroll officer, leaving a pay rise in a comment.
The rest of the April pile
Every April is the same. I copy last year's budget tab, rename it, and go down the list changing numbers while Matt reads the letters out. It takes about forty minutes. This year the rises were:
- Broadband: £31.99 to £34.99 a month, the £3.00 above.
- Council tax: £165.40 to £173.70 a month, which is £8.30 more, over ten instalments from April to January. The council's rise was about 5%.
- Water: about £27 to about £28.50 a month. We're metered, so this is Yorkshire Water's estimate of our year at the new rates, and it will true up if we use more or less.
- TV licence: £169.50 to £174.50 a year, already paid in February, so it just adds 41p a month to the sheet.
Home insurance is £318.60 a year since we switched in January, which the sheet spreads to £26.55 a month against last April's £24.70. I checked the council tax band again in November, and our whole row of identical houses is Band A, so there was nothing to challenge.
None of these is a surprise any more, which is the useful part. The council tax bill arrives in March, the water company writes in February, and the broadband rise has been in the contract since the day we signed. The surprise bills are the ones that break, and those go in the house tab.
Where it actually landed
I expected the total to look worse. A year ago, the monthly list in the April 2025 budget added up to £1,553.82. On Wednesday morning it added up to £1,558.68, which is £4.86 more.
That is a better result than it sounds, because a lot moved the other way. The energy fix that began on 10 March took the direct debit from £119 to £108. Moving both phones to SIM-only in January cut £27 a month. The water meter, which we asked for in 2025, means we pay about £28.50 where the unmetered bill would have been £49.60 from last April. Between them, those three took more than £59 a month out of the budget.
What put it back was the rest: the £3.00 and the £8.30, a bit on insurance and the licence, and Pickle. She wasn't in the April 2025 sheet because she arrived in May, and she is £50.40 a month between her insurance, food, litter and flea and worm treatment. Take her out and we'd be £45.54 a month better off than a year ago. I haven't said that to her.
The mortgage line didn't change at all, because we're fixed at 4.84% until the end of February 2030. That's the one number on the sheet that I can read without wincing. Everything else is a letter in April, and I've now put the broadband rise for April 2027 into the numbers, not a comment. It's £37.99.
